It’s time to leave the past behind

Do you spend too much time worrying about the past? Is it impinging on your present and your future

We all have our own histories in life, there will be some unique experiences and some shared. Some experiences may have been traumatic – the loss of family or friends or perhaps through enduring toxic or manipulative relationships. These memories form a part of you but shouldn’t create future problems.

When traumas happen, there is a great tendency to let these experiences affect you going forward and their grip on the present is considerable. They can hold you back in life. In essence, these difficult times become a lasting legacy. If this sounds similar, don’t you think it’s time to leave the past behind

Reframing your past experiences can be a useful tool in the bid to break free from them and will enable you to move forward into the future with optimism. They retain their power because we have associated the memory only in a negative way. It is understandable of course but when you reframe that moment with a positive outcome, it becomes something positive.

As an example, you may have realized a great inner strength when dealing with a very difficult situation; and if so, this should be seen as a positive occurrence enabling you to grow. Similarly, you can also run past events like a film sequence in your mind’s eye but instead of allowing the same old ending to take place, why not give your past experience a new ending? This can be very useful if you have made a mistake in the past and have lived with regret as a result. Changing the ending and visualising a new outcome can afford satisfaction but importantly, it also enables you to avoid making the same mistakes going forward.

But your life is not filled with constant regrets or mistakes, there are wonderful occurrences too which should be remembered. All experiences form a natural part of life and without them; any learning curve would be stunted. Life is a rich tapestry of feelings, emotions and experiences so why not enjoy a hero’s journey. So as you face new challenges, you have to learn new ways of dealing with them. The outcomes may not always be desirable but providing you learn from them, they provide you with a sense of positivity. Unresolved issues will often resurface ensuring you contemplate and consider them, but pushing them to one side is not going to eliminate them; instead ask yourself why that particular feeling has emerged again. It is possible that it has resurfaced due to impending changes in your life.

When you feel stuck firmly in your past and are trapped by emotional issues that restrict your ability to stride forward in life, consider what aspect of that time frame is so important that you cannot let it go. Write down any examples that come to mind, even the smallest past issues can grip you tightly and suffocate the present.

Take time to review the list and to consider whether these are just unresolved issues. If so, it can be highly therapeutic to discuss any of these old issues with a view to completing them, in other words you can draw a line under the event. If this is not possible, another tip is to write a letter explaining your feelings. You don’t need to send the letter; the therapy is to simply draw this deeply rooted emotion out rather than to let it gnaw away at you.

If you want to leave the past behind and are finding it difficult, utilise the Enneagram NLP or even life coaching and you will find that these personal development resources really will help you to move forward in a positive manner.

Go to www.Evelyn.id.au for more details on our online coaching and  Terrigal Beach Retreat

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