30 Aug

Stop Self-Loathing and Banish Ugly Thoughts

Stop Self-Loathing and Banish Ugly Thoughts

How often do you put yourself down? Probably more often than you realise. In fact, if you could take a slice of your thoughts and examine them on a daily basis, you might be surprised by just how many negative thoughts flood through your conscious and sub-conscious mind. Self-loathing – it’s something that none of us should entertain, these thoughts are ugly and unworthy and yet, millions of people worldwide do just that.

When you are young, the world is a wonderful place, filled with excitement and wonder and yet, as life passes, other people can make you feel inferior, unattractive and unworthy and that’s simply not fair. Equally, once those self-doubts set in, you start to question your thoughts, your actions and feelings. Negative reinforcement from those around you is really cruel. It stops you from seeing your true self-worth and instead, you focus only on your failings.

Once you recognise the slippery slope towards self-loathing, it’s possible to do something about it. Incorporating a few positive actions into your life on a daily basis will have you feeling much better about yourself and, rightly so. Negative self-talk is so damaging, far more than people realise. Self-loathing is often the end product and it’s a long road back to healthy self-esteem if it’s not dealt with quickly.

Most people will admit to having a few issues about their looks focusing only on the negative aspects of their features instead of seeing themselves as the person they are. But fortunately, it’s possible to train yourself to recognise all of the good features instead and to realise how lovely you are. Self-loathing can make you forget about all of your many accomplishments, but this is easily rectified, by making a note of all of your accomplishments. This could be anything from exam or career success to simply being a good friend or neighbour. You may find this a little difficult initially as we are all taught to be modest and not to shout successes from the rooftop but, it’s a great way to start appreciating your accomplishments large and small. Once you have written them down, spend time reviewing your notes and appreciate who you are really.

If your life is difficult and you are always juggling your daily tasks just to cope, then maybe it’s time to simplify your life. When you have so much to do in life, it’s easy to just jump on the treadmill of tasks and you might find it difficult to bring it to a stop. Taking a focussed approach to your life and making a list of all the priorities can enable you to strike a few tasks off the list. A simple way of life will put you back in control and when you feel less under pressure and overwhelmed, you’ll feel good about yourself and this is important.

It’s always good to set yourself goals or to learn new skills so why not invest in a course that not only boosts your confidence and eradicates self-loathing, but will enable you to communicate superbly and build rapport with others instinctively? The Enneagram is one self-improvement program you will love and it’s a perfect stepping stone towards a better life.

Are you surrounded by negative people? If you have people in your life that do not value you, it’s time to make the decision to make changes so determine to spend less time in their company. No-one should feel unappreciated or unvalued in life, and the secret is to spend time with others who are more positive and kindly.

Are you guilty of thinking too much? If you spend a lot of time on your own, it’s easy to over think or to have a lot of negative thoughts, instead, get out and about and do something fun or challenging. Your thoughts can work for you or against you, so it’s up to you how you use them. Many people have damaging thoughts and can feel vulnerable and less than confident as a result. Self-loathing will become a thing of the past if you can learn to appreciate your own value and to be kind to yourself. If you start valuing yourself, others will do the same.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat and explore you.

21 Jul

Making Redundancy Work for You

Making Redundancy Work for You

The thought of redundancy may be terrifying, especially so if you are worried about starting over in a new company or that you might not get another job for some time. While some people relish the opportunity for change, others shrink away from it and do their utmost to hold onto their jobs even if they hate them. But the odds might be stacked against you and you have to move on because your particular role is well and truly over. But you are not alone, more and more people the world over have to rethink their careers.

Redundancy may be daunting for you, even voluntary redundancy brings certain issues to the fore. If there is a good financial redundancy package it’s less concerning because the finances will cover you for a period of time while you draw breath and think about the future. But, if the package is minimal, it’s important to get back out there and be seen, canvassing for new work prospects as soon as you can, especially if the company is making many people redundant. Depending on the time of year, you may be up against school leavers who are keen to slot into employment, so even if you bring a unique set of skills, it is still important to consider your options in case you lose out on the coveted role.

Being made redundant can bring you a whole host of new opportunities. It needn’t be a time of trepidation but to be seen as a chance to re-train and to try out new areas of work within the marketplace. But is there something you would like to do other than your existing job? Is there some secret desire to do something completely different? Maybe you would like to set up your own company, perhaps you would like to take your existing skills and re-train to enter the market at a much higher pay grade? Perhaps you lack in confidence or need better communication skills? What can stop you from progressing and making the most of your potential? You can make redundancy work for you by considering all of your options and then throwing yourself into an area of work that really excites you. There are numerous training possibilities out there but it’s worth seeking out the services of a life coach, or attending a business event. While events may not always be government funded, consider re-training an investment in yourself. You can polish up your qualifications, your confidence and your skill set and it looks great on your Resume. Make the most of your redundancy payments, contemplate the future with relish, create a list of goals so that you have a clear remit to the future and then get the training that you need. Redundancy needn’t be the end of your career; it could just be the springboard to a whole new, financially rewarding job that will make going to work a joy each day.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat or contact us if you have more questions

11 Mar

Crisis Management – Tap into Your Inner Strength Reserves

Crisis Management – Tap into Your Inner Strength Reserves

When life starts to go a little wrong, you can guarantee that there will be multiple stressors thrown into the mix all set to confuse and complicate the situation a little more. This is when it’s important to be able to retain your self-belief and to tap into your inner strength. But what happens when your inner strength is feeling weakened by a situation and fatigue and nervous energy starts to set in?

Although a crisis can seem very personal and it is possible to feel as if you are slipping into a black hole of despair, it’s important to note that every day people are all under pressure and feeling threatened or overwhelmed by a change in their circumstances too. Like them, you have to dig deep to find the power inside you to resolve any issues. Knowing that others share similar battles to change their lives may eradicate feelings of isolation but there is much that can be done to improve inner strength. Deep down you have to tap into your integral survival instincts and to adopt the realisation that you are able to transform your life irrespective of any situation – no matter how difficult.

Whatever the crisis – grief, relationship loss or redundancies etc, it’s important to focus beyond the current situation, not so as to bypass the feelings of the moment but to know that you are bigger than this moment. This gives you hope and the realisation that this is all just one part of the journey. Life does not stand still and eventually, in time, you will have progressed through the situation and have emerged out the other side – smarter, stronger and more emotionally aware.

During any crisis, don’t be afraid to seek out support from loyal friends and family members who will be there for you – if only to listen. Ask them for encouragement and for their understanding. Having caring individuals around you will naturally increase your sense of self irrespective of the situation and with support comes solutions.

Acceptance forms a big part of understanding, coping with and moving forward from any crisis and this forms an integral part of your inner strength and coping mechanism too. Fatigue often occurs when there is a crisis so it’s a good idea to spend time nurturing your self – go for a walk and clear the cobwebs from your mind. Or just find a quiet beauty spot and sit and contemplate nature and all that is life. Find the time to discover more about you as this will strengthen your self-belief,  try out The Enneagram as this will help you to discover your core attributes – useful at any time but even more so during times of stress when you need to cultivate your inner strength.

Life is a myriad of ups and downs and it is impossible to live without experiencing life fully – this means facing the good and bad times with equal resolve. Remember that the down times make the joys of life all the more vibrant and providing you can believe in your inner strength and power inside you, you will know that you can ride the fluctuating tides of life and survive any crisis.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat or contact us if you have more questions

07 Mar

Emotional Intimacy – Lower the Barriers

Emotional Intimacy – Lower the Barriers

It’s part of the human condition to need to forge deep connections with someone who is special. It’s a deeply rooted desire that drives us to continue searching for love even when we encounter those that are not worthy of our affections. Emotional intimacy is even more powerful than physical intimacy; it’s the energy that binds two people together and provides them with that intensely satisfying sense of well-being. It’s a connection that overcomes all other temptations.

As much as we strive for love, the pain of lost love and heartbreak can overshadow the prospect of a healthy, nurturing love. Instead of being able to accept that life is transient and that sometimes people enter our lives at a time when we are emotionally ready for them, we try to hold on to them or we reject them not fully understanding that they play an important part in our lives at that time. Eventually, if and when the connection is broken, they leave an element of that experience with us.

We carry baggage from one relationship to the next. Depending on our success in love and in relationships generally, we start to form opinions of new potential relationships against the pain of lost loves. Many people live in fear of being naturally open and loving in a new relationship because fear of emotional pain cripples their potential to be free and open going forward.

Closing down all emotions, trapping any previous hurts inside and freezing up any feelings of love will only serve for one purpose, to keep you feeling isolated and to shut out those in life who may add positive experiences to the collection. If you have emotional intimacy issues, it can make you unable to project your own feelings of love.

Take Amanda. Entering her later 30’s, she suddenly realised that she had never had a deeply fulfilling relationship, not even during her marriage of 5 years when she was in her 20’s. Boyfriends had come and gone since then and she felt the loss of each and every one of them, desperate for a relationship that was emotionally pure. Amanda took the decision to have relationship coaching recognising that something was preventing her from truly connecting with those she cared for. It soon became apparent that her experiences had created a powerful inner fear that had started when she had discovered her husband’s unfaithfulness. This caused deep emotional intimacy problems for her. The marriage break-up had been devastating but she had never really dealt with those feelings of betrayal and subconsciously, wouldn’t let anyone close afterwards.

Relationship coaching helped Amanda. As time when on, creating intimacy no longer became an issue. She learned to lower the barriers and to fully overcome her emotional intimacy problems.

Life and love is complex. It’s important to remember that barriers do not stop you from becoming hurt; rather they provide you only with the greater potential to remain alone. Only when you become truly balanced with your own experiences and emotions will you be able to open up to the right person and allow them to become a positive addition to your life.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat or contact us if you have more questions

03 Mar

How to Get Motivated for Work

How to Get Motivated for Work

When you are stuck in a rut work-wise, the last thing you may want to know is how to get motivated at work. You may be hoping to simply finish work dead on time and to not have to go back – ever. We all have times when we suffer from a distinct lack of motivation for our day to day jobs, sometimes we hate the work we do, at other times we feel stifled by the lack of development opportunities. Perhaps we feel that we deserve a higher paid job, a more satisfying or even demanding role or, we just have a dream job in mind.

Action is usually the way forward but sometimes, we can learn a lot by simply standing still and looking around the work-place. We can see how others fare and those departments that seem to retain their employees. We can learn a lot by studying the management team, noting those decisive individuals who make fast paced decisions without even blinking an eye.  There will be others who have earned the respect of their teams by working hard and leading by example. There may be some who in your eyes should not be within the management team; perhaps they lack some of the more important skills.

You may not wish to be in your current role but if you can learn while you earn through watching others, then you will naturally gravitate towards a more senior role just by opening up your awareness. It may be hard to boost motivation, but try to tap into the various motivation techniques that are available and stay positive.

Motivation can start the night before. If you plan your day, mapping out all of the important tasks you will feel more in control of yourself in a professional capacity, if you have a team to delegate to, then sort out those tasks that can be passed on, if you want to learn a new skill set, write this at the top of the list to remind you to do so. When you feel stale at work, it’s easy to become unresponsive and unwilling to do more than is absolutely necessary, but the opposite works in terms of motivation and if you get stuck in, work hard and plan your progression, your focus will be renewed and you will start to enjoy your work more.

Learning how to get motivated on a personal level may take time. You may feel negative about your job situation and dread the alarm going off in the morning. If you are not sleeping well or are anxious, you need to tackle that situation first. Getting a good night’s sleep will enable you to cope with the day ahead much more efficiently. Fall asleep by implanting positive thoughts about your future career. See yourself in your chosen line of work, visualise yourself receiving a healthy pay check, or earning that coveted promotion.

When you wake up in the morning, take time to review your plan. Set each task in stone in your mind, and commit yourself to achieving everything that is on your list. Congratulate yourself when you complete all of your workload satisfactorily.

If you have problems at work, face them head on don’t let the situation fester. If you feel overlooked and unappreciated, have a word with your line manager, be professional and explain that you are ready for more responsibility. Prove to them that you are good at your job. Ask for training or coaching, or take personal responsibility for your own career development and organise some high-end business training for yourself.

If you want to learn how to get motivated at work, ask yourself what do you really want to achieve? Once you know your future goals, consider the basic needs so that you can achieve the role of your choice, you will find motivation comes thick and fast when you start the ball rolling.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat or contact us if you have more questions

01 Mar

Career Development – Don’t get stuck in a rut

Career Development – Don’t Get Stuck in a Rut

If you are passionate about your career and have your sights set firmly on promotion, it can be incredibly frustrating when you are over-looked and you fail to get that dream job.  Career development these days can be difficult, depending on the company you work for. But there can be a number of reasons as to why this might happen.  Firstly, are you uniquely qualified for the position?  Was there someone else being interviewed who had even more experience within a similar role?  Did you sell yourself sufficiently at the interview?

If you are bored within your own role, but unable to get the job you really want, then you need to start questioning why before you get stuck in a career rut.  It’s true that businesses have been greatly affected by the recent COVID and financial stress, and so employers are much more careful as to whom they employ or promote. The reason you were overlooked might not have anything to do with your ability. 

Sometimes businesses are guilty of holding people back, you can become too valuable in a certain role to be released, in a way, it is a kind of back-handed compliment, but of course this is no good for you.  Sometimes you may be overlooked because you are good, but not dynamic within the role.  Equally, you may not know the right people, those who could pull a few strings and at least get you that all-important interview.  But consider if your work record speaks favourably for you?  Have you taken numerous sick leave?  Do you get into work on time?

These are all things that would be considered by management and the Human Resources department,  and this takes place long before you even get to interview stage. You can take your career development into your own hands because there are lots of things that you can do that will highlight your desire for promotion.  First, seriously consider your career choices. What do you really want to do? Once you have this clear in your mind, talk to your manager and explain that you are ready for more responsibilities and that you are looking for promotion in the short or long term.

Depending on the outcome of this conversation, you can always go to your Human Resources department, and discuss the situation with them.  They will certainly know of any vacancies that may be coming along and ones that might potentially suit you.  If you made it to an interview but did not get the job, don’t be afraid to ask them why.  They may not like being put on the spot, but it is part of their role to help with employee development.  At least once you know, you can start considering your options.

Any information that you are given should be taken in a positive manner.  If you sounded too shy, uncertain, or perhaps did not ask enough questions during the interview, these are all very easy things to overcome in the future.  For complete development, there are some amazing career couches out there and professional workshops available that will help you to transform your life. Success is not handed out on a plate; you have to ask for help and work on overcoming your own areas of weakness and make them developmental strengths. Take control of your own career development and reach out to those who can provide you with the techniques to help you succeed.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat or contact us if you have more questions

01 Mar

Healing From Bitterness and Resentment

Healing from Bitterness and Resentment

Have you ever felt trapped and helpless within a relationship? Do you feel depressed and unloved most days? You may feel isolated, caught up within a vortex of emotions and unable to reach out to communicate with your partner. Emotionally abusive relationships have immense, destructive powers; they have the ability to overwhelm and to make you feel undervalued. When the power within the relationship is unevenly balanced, you will need to seriously consider your options before healing can even begin.

When you become caught up in a relationship centred on emotional abuse and negativity, your life will very quickly spiral out of control. Some people are driven by the need to have control of others, they may not even do this consciously, but they are compelled to do so by their past experiences, their inability to succeed within relationships and possibly by past rejections. Whether it is a conscious or subconscious motive, their actions can be cruel. Your need to seek approval within the relationship may increase dramatically.

At times you may experience strong emotions of hate and bitterness, and at other times, may find yourself so desperately in love that it threatens to become all-consuming. If you are reading thus far and it strikes a chord, you may well recognise the signs. When you are so in love, you want to shower your partner with affection and to make them feel happy and secure. It is possible to be too loving, too dependent on your partner’s approval. Early signs often dictate a slippery slope to a very one-sided connection, where one partner has all of the control and the other starts to feel their own sense of self-worth slipping away.

Take Cindy. She was in a marriage for almost twenty years. During that time, promises that were made to her were often broken, and life became a trial of emotional abuse. She felt unloved, unwanted, and totally worthless. She would spend hours locked away in her room, desperately unhappy. She couldn’t talk to her husband about her feelings because he got angry.

Eventually, her own anger inwardly started to develop. She blamed him for making her feel so inadequate. Bitterness, tinged with depression was a heady cocktail that kept her trapped within her own isolation. Cindy felt hurt and betrayed by his lack of love towards her. How could he promise so much and then give so little? In her feelings of insecurity and low confidence she caught the voices in her head saying, he created these feeling in me and yet he still seemed unhappy.

Gradually Cindy found herself getting out of the house, walking for miles, embracing the beautiful scenery around her. This became a daily ritual and through the intense beauty of nature, she started to experience her own sense of solace learning that being on her own was not so bad. Through hours of reflection, analysing the past, she realised that somehow, without meaning to, she had given him her power and that she had to take some responsibility for the way she was feeling. Gradually Cindy began her own inner healing through her need for change.

In Neuro Linguistic Programming terms, everyone has their own ‘a map of the world’ which simply records each individuals journey of experiences to date. This map is unique, based upon your own perceptions enabling you to make conscious decisions. But, depending on those experiences, the map of the world may not always enable you to view life with great clarity. Sometimes you may think you know someone and yet your perception is fragmented. At times, through the trauma of emotional or physical relationships or through any type of emotional pain, resentment can occur and the map can become tainted often with false impressions gleaned by your understanding of how to react to life’s events. NLP is a resource that can help to change behaviours and thought processes so that each map can develop and change as the person grows.

Relationships are not always easy, but if you hand over your personal power so readily, you render yourself power-less, you must assume responsibility. When you forgive yourself and others, you start to heal and you learn a valuable lesson that life is not always as it seems to be and neither are people. Cindy learned to re-generate her own power and to move away from an abusive, intolerant relationship that kept her trapped for the best part of 20 years. You can make valuable changes to empower your own life too.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat or contact us if you have more questions

28 Feb

Embrace Change – The Easy Way

Embrace Change – The Easy Way

Change can be scary especially when you feel that you have no control of the outcome. Worse, life can be painful and emotions volatile especially when a relationship comes to a close or, you lose the job that you love so much. These types of changes cause you to re-evaluate your situation and to have to make important decisions going forward. You will feel unbalanced and unsettled. It’s important to embrace change rather than to resent it. Negative emotions about your situation will only hold you back.

Equally, taking action is paramount. This could be as simple as seeking out new jobs or getting out and about to meet new people. It’s good to always consider your options but don’t stagnate or wallow in your misery. The moment you take action, you will feel better. It’s ok to nurture yourself a little especially if you feel that your life is spiralling out of control. If so, surround yourself by those who care and who can emotionally support you. Find something positive in life to focus on, but do not rely totally on others. You have your own power to make and embrace change.

When life does a u-turn, it’s all too easy to be afraid of the future and to listen to negative thoughts. Your inner critic may be firing off nagging self-doubts but you don’t have to listen. Life changes. You are only in charge of your own destiny and not of everything around you, if life is taking a turn for the worse, then consider creating new opportunities and be ready to embrace change.


It’s hard but you have to learn to live with uncertainty. You may feel anxious for awhile but out of your concerns may come new abilities and skills. If you want to give yourself the best chance at new opportunities, then re-train and revitalise your skill-set. Change tests your resolve. Don’t sit back and feel miserable, learn new aspects of yourself and embrace self-development. Try out The Enneagram for a powerful insight into your personality type and learn to relate and communicate to others in a powerful manner. If you need help reinventing your life, seek out the services of a life coach. The result – a polished and more successful you. Plus, you may just really like this new person.

If you are going to embrace change, you may as well stir up some new energy around you. Eradicate tried and tested routines, meet new people, develop new habits and don’t forget to clear out physical and emotional clutter. Don’t let life control you, learn to go with the flow. There are some things that are impossible to change but life is a journey and who knows what new opportunities await if you keep an open mind and learn to spot the signs. When change is enforced upon you, the best way of dealing with it is with positivity. Embrace change and live life the easy way.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat or contact us if you have more questions

22 Feb

Discover Your Leadership Qualities

Discover Your Leadership Qualities

Think you have leadership qualities? Are you able to motive others and are willing to take full responsibility of your team? If yes, you may have leadership qualities just waiting to be discovered. Depending on your working environment, you may be in a company where the chances of being discovered are low, and there is nothing as frustrating as being overlooked. If you are serious about taking your career to a new level, you need to show some initiative and not simply act on opportunities but create them instead If your company rewards those who put themselves forward and take the lead, then show them what you are capable of. If your company does not, then show them what they are missing.

True leadership qualities are about setting objectives, whether for your own personal needs or for others who report into you. Leadership is not about feeling down in the dumps when things go wrong, it’s about having the inner strength to face a challenge head on and to keep persevering if things go wrong. Having a positive attitude can make a big difference, but in business, sometimes it can be difficult to stay resilient if you make a bad decision. Taking responsibility for it however is vital.

Are you a forward thinker, are you able to think on your feet and adapt at a moment’s notice? A true leader has to be flexible, and able to assess a situation clearly, changing direction if needed. But if you wish to develop your leadership qualities, you must also be able to stand your ground and hold out for what you believe in.

If you are really interested in achieving promotion or strengthening your skill-set, determine your strengths and weaknesses. You don’t need to be appraised by your direct manager to know how good you are at your job or, those areas that need a little fine-tuning. If there are any leadership training courses at your company, request that you attend a course; it could be invaluable for your career especially if you excel at any of the tasks on the course. Or, consider investing in a leadership coaching course yourself. Look for coaching that is forward thinking and innovative. This would actually look very good on a C.V. and show your determination to succeed. If you can show enthusiasm for your work and a commitment to the company, in time, your endeavours will be noticed.

The emphasis has to be on developing innovative practices and learning new skills but businesses these days are looking for much more than this when seeking out someone with leadership qualities. They are looking for the ability for practical application and the ability to influence others. Being in charge of a team –especially those who all have managerial skills themselves will be tough and will ensure that you need to be one step ahead. Show that you have the spirit for leadership and you may well be awarded the job you want.

Discover your leadership qualities by working hard, by enrolling in a leadership coaching program and by persevering.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat or contact us if you have more questions

16 Feb

Career Development – Securing a successful mindset

Career Development – Securing a successful mindset

You know what you want to achieve in your career in fact, career development is important to you. But your vision of your ideal job and the actual reality may never have seemed more distant. So how can you bring your vision and the reality together and become more successful?

The problem many people have is that they have an idea of their ideal role but they may not have considered the strategy, hard work and financial requirements to make it come to fruition. Training and development can seem to be expensive but is a necessity. Setting up a business of your own will also need financial investment.

So where is the starting point? Learning how to produce a career development plan will become a useful resource forever at your disposal. Some people are filled with creative ideas. In fact, they could generate an abundant program of products but business legislation, marketing and strategy leave them cold. This is not unusual but developing a mix of these skills can help to make the path towards career success a whole lot smoother.

If you truly want to develop your career, then ensuring that you have the right business skills is vital. A sound background in business will help you to develop your business or your career sensibly and you will also have more confidence in your own abilities. One of the things that can and often does hold back career development is when a lack of confidence or skill set is present. It’s important to invest in the relevant business training to ensure your skills are up to speed. But training can be far more involved and targeted than just for the practical development side of work.

If you are feeling less than confident, it may be an idea to utilise courses on NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) which include motivation techniques and reframing that can change how you feel or/and act. Take a business coaching course; attend a weekend event or seminar that can help you to widen your perception and vision. Courses or individual coaching can help to eliminate the fear of failure that often comes when progressing your career. Fearful thoughts can have a powerful and yet, negative impact on you but if you select a course or event that is motivational on all levels, these powerful feel-good motivational messages and techniques can have you prepared to tackle anything.

Your mindset is unique to you. Nurture it, train it and coax it so that it develops into a powerful tool that is ready at your disposal for when you need it the most. Too often we look back at the mistakes we might have made in our careers when really; creating a list of all of the achievements to-date is the sensible option. It can be satisfyingly revealing when you itemise all of the successes and realise just how far you have come in your career.

It’s important to have someone to guide you, this is the same whether you are experienced in business or have your foot on the first rung of the promotional ladder. Whether it is someone in a higher position at your workplace, or, if you have someone in mind with strong leadership skills, reach out to them. Have regular coaching, discuss issues, and learn how to overcome them. This is important for career development growth. Career success is in your own hands and it’s up to you to make the most of opportunities around you.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat or contact us if you have more questions