03 Nov
Lighten The Load
Evelyn COACHING, Relationships

Lighten The Load

Lighten The Load

Here I share with you a German Folktale adapted from the story – “Bundles of Troubles, Bundles of Blessings” in the book – A Piece Of The Wind, by Ruthilde Kronberg and Patricia McKissack, Harper, San Francisco, 1990.

There once was a woman who had so many problems, so many worries, so many troubles… that at times she felt she had more troubles than anyone else in the world!

Well… there was one friend she knew who had quite a large share of troubles herself. But this friend seemed to be able to move through her troubles and come out the other side with her head still held high. The more the woman thought about her friend, the more she began to think “I could ask her to tell me how she deals with her problems and then I would know how to deal with mine.”

The woman became convinced that this was the answer – so one day she knocked on her friend’s door. The friend invited her in, they sat down and chatted together while they shared tea. By and by the visitor told the friend why she had come to visit. “Oh, but I can’t tell you how to deal with your own problems” the friend told her, “only you know what are the right choices for yourself.” The visitor’s face looked so crestfallen that the friend added “But I could tell you some advice that someone once gave me that helped…” “Oh would you? Could you?” the visitor encouraged her.

“Alright” the friend answered. “Why don’t you let that part of yourself that is connected to all that is  take over caring for your troubles.” “Well… alright.”

It wasn’t the kind of advice that she had expected. The visitor stayed a bit longer, chatting and catching up, then she said goodbye to her friend and began walking home. On the way home she thought “I really have tried everything else I can think of – what do I have to lose?”

So that night, when everyone else was asleep, she shut her door, got into bed, sat there and said “That part of me that is connected to all that is please – help me with my troubles. I don’t know what else to do…”

Then she figured she must be done, so she turned out her light, pulled up the covers and fell asleep… and that night she dreamed a dream… She found herself in a vast candlelit cavern, surrounded by gray bundles of all shapes and sizes, as far as she could see. Walking toward her was a woman with flowing long white hair and dressed in a long dark cape.

“Who are you?” asked the dreamer “and what is this place?”

“This is the cave of the bundles of troubles and I am the Keeper of the cave.”

“Bundles of troubles?”

“Yes,” the Keeper explained, “each person who walks the earth carries a bundle of trouble on their left shoulder.” The dreamer turned to look and there was a gray bundle on her left shoulder – it had been there all this time and she never noticed! “If you wish,” the keeper continued, “you can take your bundle down and exchange it for another.”

“Really? I can?” The woman lowered the bundle from her left shoulder. Oh it felt so good to put it down. Then she began picking up different bundles, feeling their weight, trying them on for size… She did this for hours until finally she said “Can I take this one? This one feels just right.””Certainly you may” the Keeper told her, “but first, why don’t you open it up and look inside.”

So the woman put the bag down and pulled on the gray drawstrings and looked inside… “But these are the same troubles I brought in here!”

The Keeper of the cave smiled softly and nodded. “That’s usually what happens, but do not despair, for there is another bundle on your right shoulder that should help lighten your load.”The woman turned and saw another bundle on her right shoulder. It had been there all this time and she never noticed! Only this bundle was woven of silver and gold threads and it sparkled like a diamond in the sunlight.

The Keeper spoke – “Why don’t you take down that bundle, and look inside.”

So the woman did. The bundle was light as down. She pulled the silver and gold strings and looked inside. And there were… all of her experiences and all that she had learned. There were her talents, her gifts, her hopes and opportunities yet to come. The woman felt her heart fill with joy and she looked up to thank the Keeper of the cave. But the Keeper of the cave was gone. All the gray bundles were gone. The cave was gone. And she found herself sitting up in her own bed with the morning sun streaming through the window, shining in her face.

More Powerful Than You Ever imagined – Join us at the Wellness Retreat for more storytelling

Decide what’s most important to you in your life right now!

09 Oct
Evelyn COACHING, WELLNESS

Take Time Out Relax Recharge

Take Time Out Relax Recharge

Do you feel as if your life is spiraling out of control? Are you holding on for dear life? If so, you need to take time out to relax, refresh and recharge your life. Floundering through each day in a haphazard way may seem like the only way to cope, but it isn’t. We all need some downtime, a way of diffusing stress and recharging the batteries. It’s important for your overall health and to add balance to another wise busy lifestyle

Sleep is essential and your body needs it to be able to heal.  Sleep is restorative, it also aids concentration and focus and it affects motor skills too. If you struggle to fall asleep at night and wake up tired and listless, no wonder even the simplest tasks appear difficult. Developing a good sleep pattern is important.

If work is too demanding or, you are expected to cope with an increased workload and longer hours without extra pay, then you need to rethink your current role. A career is important but life is too short to waste. If you work longer and gain less recognition, you will be impacting quality family and social time. Is your family suffering in your absence? Do you miss your friends? Are you all working and no playing? Take time out and think. Is this what you really want?

Is your life filled with mundane rituals? When you go to work, do you take the same direction, go at the same time and take the same breaks? Routines may offer structure and security but it can also keep you well and truly stuck in a rut. Break free from routine, be a little rebellious, and have a little fun.

If you are just trying to cope on a daily basis, don’t you want to take back control and manage your life without it managing you? If you feel trapped by your life and unsupported in your efforts, keep a note of all that you do each day, write down each stressor and list the things you would like to do…. Just for you. Start small; you might be surprised by how easy it is to alleviate some of the pressures from your life. Review each day’s notes at the end of the week and consider how much you managed to do to enrich your life or if all completed tasks were just coping strategies. It’s all too easy to burn out and untamed stressors will leave you de-motivated, stressed, and unfulfilled.

So how do you change? What if you don’t know what you want?

When fatigue, overwork, and too many responsibilities serve to overwhelm, it’s not surprising that clarity and focus dissipate too. Life is too hard to think about making positive changes but, it’s not impossible. Perhaps you hate your job, or simply find it unfulfilling or too pressured now. What else could you do instead? Are you worried that you won’t find another job or that you are not capable of achieving a rewarding career? A lack of confidence can keep you shackled to a job or even a relationship you no longer like.

No man is an island. We all need a little help. Perhaps seeking out the services of a life coach would open your mind to opportunities and provide support. Perhaps evaluating how you manage your life with NLP techniques would benefit or, or maybe you need to define who you are in life and why you act in a certain way. Perhaps you need to identify your values, learn to feel good about yourself, relax, and open up your focus. If so, The Enneagram could be high on your list, helping you to find balance in all that you do and aiding confidence and positivity.

There are resources available that can be surprisingly beneficial and powerful and they will help you to take time out and to evaluate what you want in life and to do so in a way that suits your personality type. Now is the time to make positive changes.

Join us at the Wellness Retreat to recharge

03 Oct
Evelyn COACHING, LEADERSHIP

Take Responsibility For Your Life

Take Responsibility For Your Life

We all like to make excuses when life goes wrong.

It’s easier to blame others instead of ourselves if we make mistakes and really, we should hold our hands up and admit that sometimes we take the easy way out. We shift blame and responsibility so that we don’t have to feel bad about any decision but there’s no point berating yourself if you’ve made an error or two, it is part of the human condition after all. Instead, take ownership of your life and take responsibility for your actions; you will start to view your life from a position of strength.  

Even if life goes a bit wrong, determine to grow from it. It’s amazing the lessons that can be learned through facing hardship and in the process; it will enable you to progress in life in a much more determined way. In fact, sometimes it’s only through making mistakes and then finally owning up to the responsibility that we can really embrace all of the successes to come.

Take responsibility for your life starting now….

No one can live your life for you and let’s be honest, you wouldn’t want them to so hold your chin up resolutely and square your shoulders back, choose to meet life head-on, and power through those obstacles using it as a learning curve. Every time you hear the niggling voice of self-doubt in your mind, banish it, there’s no time for negativity or self-doubts in your life. It’s so easy to replay the blaming others track; it’s a nice tune after all.

If you are dissatisfied with your life, there may be areas of personal growth that appeal, why stay stuck in a rut when there’s a whole world of opportunities out there? It may take a little courage to take the first step but why not set the ball of personal development rolling and check out your options.

Personal growth can be indicative of every aspect of your life – from improving self-confidence and esteem, to career skills or to personal communication abilities. Take some time to analyze the way forward for you personally – discover your most pressing needs and utilize the available resources. There are plenty of books and courses for learning and development requirements and self-study programs such as The Enneagram if you wish to find out more about yourself -go back to basics and rediscover the real you and then work on enhancing the most positive attributes. In fact, The Enneagram can be a good place to start as it unlocks the mysteries of personality types.

Personal development programs will work well if you open your mind to them. It can enrich your life allowing you to mentally wipe the slate clean and start again. Imagine the blank canvas of your life but with a way to empower yourself through the experience of past mistakes. Personal growth can be yours once you start to take responsibility for your life, it needn’t be difficult, it’s simply about making up your mind to live life to the full and yet in an honest way. Start today and make important strides towards a more successful and enriched you.

Step up… learn how at the upcoming Wellness Retreat

24 Sep
Evelyn COACHING, WELLNESS

Personal Development – Do You Know Who You Are?

Have you ever felt out of synch in life?

Personal Development

Do you ever feel that you don’t fit in with those around you or that others just don’t understand you? Perhaps you have simply become a spectator in your own life or feel that you have made so many mistakes and now you are scared to make significant changes in life unless you add to the collection of errors.

Whatever the reason for your feeling out of sorts in your own life, there’s no doubt that when life is out of balance, it becomes difficult and you may not know what to do or even how to improve your situation.

E.E. Cummings once said, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

This statement is so very true because so many people are not true to themselves. This may not be deliberate, but we learn by examples and by experiences, and this can take us off track. It takes a great deal of courage to find the way forward, fulfill our true destinies, and grow into the people that we know we can be. We have to understand and embrace our personal development; it’s not an option if success and well-being are desired.

We trust those around us to lead the way towards happiness and fulfillment. Others become our guides, they teach us how to behave, how to think, and even, how to feel. Yet we all have a distinctive personality type and one which governs our perceptions in life. It may have been covered over, hidden, or shrouded by the bombardment of external lessons or experiences but, dig deep enough and that all-important personality type is there just waiting to be discovered.

If you think about it, stripping back the layers of your life is bound to reveal that fresh-faced you, the person you were always meant to be – before all the hardships of life. If you could turn back the clock and re-discover this former you, wouldn’t it be an incredible journey being able to wipe the slate clean and start life all over? While this is not possible, it is essential to start discovering who you really are and reconnecting with your true personality type, defining who you are and who you are meant to be.

There are many personal development resources available and everyone has the choice in life to discover the resources that work for them, but one of the most tried and tested, practical, and beneficial resources is that of The Enneagram. Discovering your personality type is the initial focus but it also goes far deeper, setting you on a journey of discovery. Suddenly life stops being difficult, you make and develop friendships, communicating with others becomes easier and you suddenly get that prized job after all. When you know who you are and learn aspects of yourself that you never even dreamed were there, you’ll feel different, you stop fighting and life falls into place, like the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle missing for so many years. You see the big picture, the real picture.

If you want to change your life, understand who you are, and, achieve your true potential, all you need to do is to attent the Wellness Retreat to comprehend more on The Enneagram.

17 Sep
Evelyn COACHING, LEADERSHIP

READY, SET, GO…

READY, SET, GO…

How to Embrace Risk, Rise Above Fear, and Cope with Rejection

“An essential aspect of creativity,
is not being afraid to fail”  Edwin Land.

It’s common to think of risk-taking as dangerous, rejection as a dreadful, and fear as a crucial part of each and every decision you make. However, if you and your team can embrace risk, rise above fear, and use rejection as fuel for your next challenge; you will amaze even yourselves.

Risk: Your Best Friend

It’s not unusual to find talented sales teams expending massive amounts of energy to avoid failure. It’s only natural to want to avoid pain, embarrassment, and disappointment. “…many of us avoid the prospect of failure. In fact, we’re so focused on not failing that we don’t aim for success…” says writer Pauline Estrem. http://www.success.com/article/why-failure-is-good-for-success

Instead of spending all that energy avoiding failure, imagine throwing that energy into big, wonderful, risk-taking goals.

By making risk an essential part of the work environment, and by making failure acceptable –  even respectable – you give your team permission to strive fearlessly for more creative and exciting sales solutions.

Rejection: Part of Success

Rejection can be devastating. Nobody likes to hear “no,” especially not more than one or two times a day. However, rejection is a truly important and valuable part of the sales process.

Daniel H. Pink puts it this way, “One of the best predictors of ultimate success in either sales or non-sales selling isn’t natural talent or even industry expertise, but how you explain your failures and rejections.” http://www.danpink.com/about/

Those who are able to gain insights from what doesn’t work are much more likely to discover what does work. Think of each rejection as just one step closer to your next success.

NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming Presupposition…

There is no such thing as ‘failure’, only ‘Feedback’.

NLP acknowledges a distinction between what we observe, and what we think we observe. When we do or say something, we can observe the results, which may or may not match what we intended. Using the principles of NLP we believe that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. In fact, it’s more of a sweet aroma of opportunity.

Fear: Letting it Go

“The key is to begin fearlessly,” says leadership professional Ralph Heath. http://ralphheath.typepad.com/ralph-heaths-blog/page/2/

Too often, fear governs the decisions that leaders and sales professionals make every single day. It’s okay to feel fear, but it’s important to recognize it for what it is and to move on. Only by getting past fear and working on the feedback can you achieve your full potential.

As soon as your team understands that failure is respectable and that risk is admirable, they will finally begin to make decisions that aren’t based on fear.

When your team makes fearless decisions, you can expect to be wowed. With fearlessness comes a team that’s motivated, confident, inspired, and yes, achieves outstanding results.

When it comes to Excellence Assured Sales Strategies, your relationship to risk, rejection and fear can take on a whole new meaning and change the levels of success to heights never before imagined possible.

Join us at the Wellness Retreat to learn more Fear and Rising Above It!

10 Sep
Evelyn COACHING, LEADERSHIP, Neuroscience

Focus

Focus

“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.” – Alexander Graham Bell

Leadership – like any great art – takes energy, time, and of course, focus.

According to renowned psychologist Daniel Goleman, emotionally intelligent leaders learn to balance their focus three ways; simultaneously focusing on the self, focusing on others, and focusing outward on the broader situation.

“…a failure to focus inward leaves you rudderless, a failure to focus on others renders you clueless, and a failure to focus outward may leave you blindsided,” Goleman says in his article, The Focused Leader 

Honing in on these three focus points takes lots of time and practiced skill – but little by little, you’ll find your sense of focus is honed; ready to give you invaluable information about yourself, those around you, and others.

Take a little time to exercise your three methods of focus: 

Focus Inward

Pay attention to your gut, listen to your intuition; make sure you’re sensing all your feelings and reactions – not just the ones bubbling to the surface at any given time. Remember, you can and probably will think and feel many things all at once – each of those feelings is a valuable cue.

Focus on Others

Stay tuned in to every single member of your team. Listen intently to their perspectives, ideas, worries, needs, joys, and fears. By listening and hearing them, you not only learn important information – you give value, respect, and confidence to the individuals around you.

Focus Outward

Gain a broad perspective of every situation. Be aware of the dynamics in your workplace, tune into your workplace’ energy level, and maintain a big-picture outlook on your team’s successes and failures.

By practicing and balancing these three focus points; you gain incredible knowledge that helps you intelligently and compassionately navigate each new situation; becoming the leader your team loves to follow.

Join us at the Wellness Retreat to explore your focus

03 Sep
Evelyn COACHING, LEADERSHIP, WELLNESS

The Ballet Of Leadership

The Ballet Of Leadership

Training to Take the Leap…

“The feet may learn the steps, but only the spirit can dance.” – Amber Scott- Australian Ballet

 “There is a vitality, a life force, energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.” – Martha Graham

Even professional ballet dancers – those experts who perform nightly at an elite level – take ballet class daily, every single morning.

Why? Because each day is a process of realignment and rediscovery. “A typical day of work for a dancer starts early with an hour and a half class to warm up and refine their technique,” says the Atlanta Ballet http://www.atlantaballet.com/resources/ballet-faqs

Dancers know their bodies will feel different every morning; sometimes perfectly in balance and other times off-kilter, sometimes fatigued, and other times truly energetic. For dancers, life is constant study; a form of research because their job requires them to truly tune in to their personal best.

Of course, you know where I’m headed – leadership is no different. The Enneagram acknowledges that life is a constant journey; an opportunity to discover yourself and your potential, and to tune in to your relationships to those around you.

That means that – just like a ballet dancer – leaders need to realign and rediscover every single day. Stepping into your leadership role each morning is not so very different than a ballet dancer stepping out onto the stage.

The Leadership Equivalent Of Morning Ballet Class

Each morning, give yourself the leadership equivalent of a ballet class. Develop a routine where you give yourself time to reflect on the week, set goals for the day ahead, notice your own emotions and energy level, and prepare to listen and learn from the members of your team.

Commit yourself to your work the same way a dancer would. And, treat yourself with the same kind of care and attention. The results will show reflected in your work and in your team members. Happy dancing!

Wellness Retreat…

Copyright © 2022 Evelyn Olivares, All Rights Reserved.