07 Mar

Emotional Intimacy – Lower the Barriers

It’s part of the human condition to need to forge deep connections with someone who is special. It’s a deeply rooted desire that drives us to continue searching for love even when we encounter those that are not worthy of our affections. Emotional intimacy is even more powerful than physical intimacy; it’s the energy that binds two people together and provides them with that intensely satisfying sense of well-being. It’s a connection that overcomes all other temptations.

As much as we strive for love, the pain of lost love and heartbreak can overshadow the prospect of a healthy, nurturing love. Instead of being able to accept that life is transient and that sometimes people enter our lives at a time when we are emotionally ready for them, we try to hold on to them or we reject them not fully understanding that they play an important part in our lives at that time. Eventually, if and when the connection is broken, they leave an element of that experience with us.

We carry baggage from one relationship to the next. Depending on our success in love and in relationships generally, we start to form opinions of new potential relationships against the pain of lost loves. Many people live in fear of being naturally open and loving in a new relationship because fear of emotional pain cripples their potential to be free and open going forward.

Closing down all emotions, trapping any previous hurts inside and freezing up any feelings of love will only serve for one purpose, to keep you feeling isolated and to shut out those in life who may add positive experiences to the collection. If you have emotional intimacy issues, it can make you unable to project your own feelings of love.

Take Amanda. Entering her later 30’s, she suddenly realised that she had never had a deeply fulfilling relationship, not even during her marriage of 5 years when she was in her 20’s. Boyfriends had come and gone since then and she felt the loss of each and every one of them, desperate for a relationship that was emotionally pure. Amanda took the decision to have relationship coaching recognising that something was preventing her from truly connecting with those she cared for. It soon became apparent that her experiences had created a powerful inner fear that had started when she had discovered her husband’s unfaithfulness. This caused deep emotional intimacy problems for her. The marriage break-up had been devastating but she had never really dealt with those feelings of betrayal and subconsciously, wouldn’t let anyone close afterwards.

Relationship coaching helped Amanda. As time when on, creating intimacy no longer became an issue. She learned to lower the barriers and to fully overcome her emotional intimacy problems.

Life and love is complex. It’s important to remember that barriers do not stop you from becoming hurt; rather they provide you only with the greater potential to remain alone. Only when you become truly balanced with your own experiences and emotions will you be able to open up to the right person and allow them to become a positive addition to your life.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat or contact us if you have more questions