05 Feb
Evelyn COACHING, Neuroscience, Relationships, WELLNESS

Avoid Self Destructive Behaviour Starting Now

Avoid Self Destructive Behaviour Starting Now

Happiness may be a state of mind but for many people, it can be difficult to see the world with true mental clarity and this can obstruct the opportunity to be truly content and successful in life. If you’re guilty of self destructive behaviour or of self-sabotaging your opportunities, your thoughts and actions may be paramount. Often, your thoughts will have been shaped by lessons learned in life and through your personal experiences. Actions, thoughts and unhealthy behaviours can easily be formed without your even realising and they can affect every aspect of your life.

If you turn back the clock, you can see that when young, you relied on your parents and those closest to you to teach you the right way to think and act but the human experience is all about making errors and decisions and it’s a huge learning curve. Those around you may have been swayed by their own experiences- both good and bad resulting in less than healthy lessons being passed on. Perceptions are easily tainted. Worse, these perceptions can continue to distort. In essence, they turn into self destructive behaviour unless you learn to understand your thoughts and behaviours and clear your perception.

It’s easy to act to extremes. Some people struggle to cope with all of the obstacles in life, they react unhealthily to emotional turmoil instead of dealing with their pain, they turn to alcohol or drugs while others feel a need to rely on those around them, forming unhealthy co-dependent relationships. When there is an intrinsic need to seek approval, you only serve to lower your own self-esteem or confidence. When you try to please people, your actions are solely focussed on this action and it’s easy to lose your own identity. Remember that this is your life and others should not dictate the way you live it, handing over control means giving away your power.

Everyone has negative thoughts but do yours cause all sorts of self-doubts? It can be easy to listen to the never-ending mind chatter that takes place and often you may not be aware that these whispers are causing you to react irrationally. Consider whether you have ever acted impulsively because you have listened to your negative thoughts before understanding the true reality of a situation. You may have felt guilty and apologetic afterwards, but instead of living with regret, wouldn’t it be better to switch off these negative thoughts and learn to push them away before they do any damage?

Because life is constantly throwing obstacles in the way, you may feel a need to over -control your life and to hold on tightly to the reins, which will rule out a flexible approach and ensure you stick rigidly to your plan of action. The future will always be uncertain so when you try to control every element of your life, this will only cause your anxieties to increase. Try to take a step back and release the reins of control. If you don’t, you could miss out on some wonderful opportunities. Self destructive behaviour will hamper your life in every way, if you are determined to make changes, seek out the services of a life coach who can help you to understand why you act and feel the way that you do and help you to move forward with confidence determining what you want to achieve and giving you the tools to ensure your life is successful, balanced and positive.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat and explore you.

01 Feb
Evelyn COACHING, LEADERSHIP, Relationships

Setting up a Business – Instinct and the Enneagram

Setting up a Business – Instinct and the Enneagram

Have you been longing to work for yourself? Have you learned a great many skills and now are feeling the urge to make the leap of faith as a self-employed entrepreneur? Before you go rushing off to hand in your notice, throwing every resource you have into setting up a business, just mentally check off all of the requirements necessary for business success. Setting up a business is time consuming and stressful, it’s also hard work but you probably know this, even so, the reality can be very different than the dream for some.

Do you feel completely confident? Are you even ready for success and all the many responsibilities? It’s important to realise that when you first set out with the business idea, in addition to the long hours and responsibilities, and, if you’re going solo in your business, you have to have an abundance of strong skills. You need to have a well thought-out business plan which in the first instance will stand you in good stead. Mapping out your ideas and having a clear knowledge as to the direction in which you wish to take your business will enable you to create strong business foundations and to drive forward in the relevant direction.

But there’s more to running a business than being able to keep accounts, to set up a website or to have products to sell. You have to be ready to encounter a wide variety of problems and to trust your instinct. You have to be able to build rapport with clients and to manage employees effectively too unless you are going to operate a sole venture. Running your own business calls on many special strengths and attributes, some of which will be gained through the day to day challenges of business life. But, the most important quality is to sharpen up your business instinct and to be able to trust your decision making skills, and being able to neatly side-step any potential mistakes.

 If you have doubts about your inner resolve and can’t trust your instinct yet, don’t miss out on finely tuning this aspect of self, it will stand you in good stead in the long run. Study personal development resources such as the Enneagram as this will very quickly enable you to feel confident and to develop trust in yourself. You’ll feel more confident and self-assured within your new role but you’ll find it easier to build rapport with others and to negotiate when necessary. Your instinct will no doubt play an important part in your ongoing success so it’s imperative that it is as good as it can be.

Setting up your own business is worthwhile but it is important to give yourself a fighting chance. Ensure that all of your skills are in tip-top condition and then you can approach your business with an empowered sense of confidence and drive.

Join us at the Wellness Retreat to enhance your skills in building relationships and sharpen your business instinct

24 Jan
Evelyn COACHING, Relationships

How to be successful in business and save your marriage/relationship

How to be successful in business and save your marriage/relationship

Its seems at times like the minority people have both success in business and a happy marriage at the same time. The stats above from Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) shows that around one in three marriages fail. The divorce median age group for males in 2021 is 32.1 years while for females is 30.5 years.

Why do marriages fail? Well one of the most common factors is the lack of time couples spend with each other, with their significant other and of course let’s not forget poor communication in their relationship. This is as normal for marriage as it is for business. So what does that mean? It means that to have success in marriage or long term relationship with a partner and to run a successful business it commands a lot of time.

It would seem that for most people it’s become a matter of sacrifice on one or the other, either to make a fruitful business or relax and save my relationship. This is a hard decision to make because one without the other does not equal true happiness and fulfilment in life. In order to live life at its best, to be truly happy it is crucial that we consider both. Unfortunately most people opt to work on their businesses, or careers and this usually leads to them becoming lonely and depressed. The question is can one acquire both of these at the same time?

Can I Create a Successful Business and Maintain a Happy Marriage-relationship with my partner at the same time?

The immediate answer is “absolutely YES”. The thing is for most people, they choose not to believe it is so, they think it is unachievable. People have believed over the years that you cannot accomplish this at the same time. They have this belief that, in their world, the wealthiest people most of them are alone and lonely, or there are always the others that are on their 4th or 5th wife or husband or partner on to the next one. This is because most people do not believe that they could grow a business together with their partners. Again, “what you focus on, is what you get, to the exclusion of everything else!”.

People have always wanted to go solo or with friends into a business venture rather than going in with their spouses/partners. Why is this? There is this belief that doing business with your partner will destroy your relationship. What often happens is that when you’re busy growing the business in the absence of your spouse or partner, your relationship can actually drift apart because you’re spending more time with others.

The ideal way to save and maintain a marriage or long term relationship with your partner, especially when your business is just starting, is to involve your partner. Together, dream about what can be, listen to each other and toss around a few ideas, look at the different scenarios and discuss the consequences, always consider the ecology of your actions, then you’ll get a real feel for creating and achieving success together.

The business will grow and it may become fulltime for one if not both of you. With this, it will build your trust, love and passion. The thing is, there is no role that you would miss for your partner to play in any kind of business, even if it is becoming a silent partner.

Having another commonality other than marital/relationship issues between you two, will obviously bring you closer and give you more reason to be together. There is nothing more beautiful than having a friend, a spouse, a partner and a business partner all wrapped into one.

 

 

09 Jan
Evelyn COACHING, Neuroscience, Relationships, WELLNESS

Perfect Self-Awareness – Perfect Life

Perfect Self Awareness – Perfect Life

Do you want a happy life and to feel totally fulfilled? If so, you need to be true to yourself and to be self-aware. This may sound odd, how can you not be true to yourself? But in reality, there are too many people who pretend to be someone they are not and who live their lives by the rules of others –whether that fits well or not. So from this you can see that it’s important to be authentic and to know who you are, what you want to achieve in life and, to determine just how you want to live. This means, self-awareness is not just important but essential.

Self-awareness doesn’t come naturally. You have to work on it and decide this for yourself. Learn to explore every aspect of yourself. As life unfolds, your experiences change you but the essence of you, that true personality type remains within and knowing and understanding your personality type will also help you to make informed choices.

It’s important to recognise your needs and motivation. We all have them, some will be basic and yet essential, others will match your personality and be intrinsic to your future happiness. Once you understand your core needs, you will be able to ensure they are met. Your values are important too and form a personal roadmap that will guide your decisions and actions going forward. Live life with integrity and your life will change-for the better.

If you feel unsettled in your life, if you flounder and find it difficult to make decisions or to live up to the values of the person you think should be, maybe your perception of your personality type is false. This needs to be reaffirmed so you can start to consolidate this core you, so as to act from a position of strength. This is easy to do and simply means studying The Enneagram, the most compelling way to bring your true personality to the fore.

As you start to live authentically, bring your self-awareness to your emotions. Allow them to rise and fall and go with the flow. Be mindful of them and notice any triggers that cause your emotions to change. Be kind to your emotions. They are a true essence of you. Equally, learned actions and experiences turn into frequent behaviours and although most are hopefully positive, others will be self-defeating and will impede your desire for true self-awareness and authenticity. As you notice your habits, begin to change those that are in contrast to your true needs and future self.

What really motivates you in life? Consider your passions and your motivations. Discover your sense of purpose and go all after it with true energy. Life is for living and for self-discovery. Too often people lose their way in life, they deviate from their truth pathway and in doing so, they lose a little of themselves. Living authentically with full self-awareness may seem too simple to be effective but it is the most natural way of living and it will feel good to be true to you.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat and explore you.

05 Jan
Evelyn COACHING, Relationships, WELLNESS No Comments

The Relationship merry-go-round

Life is complicated, but you probably know that already. Many of us grow up with the idea that falling in love is the most wonderful thing that can happen to us and it will make our lives complete. While for some people, the happy ending certainly does hold true, others struggle to maintain a relationship, attracting the wrong people. When this happens, we realise that an unhealthy relationship does not complete us, instead it causes our lives to fragment.

We often are attracted to the same types. This can be the underlying cause of all of the problems, but then, how can we be blamed for falling in love with the wrong person – again and again? Of course people look and seem different, but, underneath, certain character traits can be uncannily similar. Bad relationships will only dent your confidence and self-esteem can plummet as a result. Yet still we try to find that perfect other, the soul mate who will connect with us on an intrinsic level.

Take Linda who was unable to find herself in a healthy relationship. With a 7 year old son, she could see that her unhealthy love affairs were affecting him. Linda knew that she could not carry on in the same way, it was exhausting and depressing. But she was not sure how to change the way she approached relationships. Linda felt that she could not cope with any more emotional angst, because her son was also sharing the same myriad of emotions with her, and he was old enough to recognise her pain. They were so close that she knew she had to find a way to provide him with a more stable and loving childhood experience.

Linda eventually requested emotional coaching. Through her connection with her coach and with others who shared similar experiences, Linda began to see that her own muddled perspective of life and her own self-doubts were partly the reason why she attracted similar types and repeated a cycle of dating disasters. Once she started valuing herself again, she was able to see her way forward with much greater clarity. Eventually, Linda met a man who was genuine and open and warm in his approach to love and commitment, so, finally, she achieved the happiness she so desired for both her and her son.

This story is not uncommon. We can all learn from past events and errors in judgements. But some of us become stuck in a cycle of negative emotional trauma and we repeat this cycle over and over again. If this sounds familiar to you, it is important to understand that you are not making a conscious decision to do so, but rather you are choosing to allow your past experiences and limiting beliefs to effect your present and your future. It’s time to stop, and reflect and to seek professional guidance; sometimes the solution is that simple. When you have a new romantic someone, and they seem so familiar, you have to ask yourself whether there is a reason for that. Are you unconsciously picking up on some of those very traits that you need to avoid?

It can be difficult to get yourself back on the right path when you feel emotionally tired and hurt. Seeking coaching can be one of the most positive steps that you will ever take because it helps you to create new neural pathways and creating new patterns and embracing a whole new perspective. You are not alone in experiencing bad relationships but you don’t have to remain on the merry-go-round, you can stop it any time that you choose.

For more insights contact evelyn direct eo@evelyn.id.au

03 Jan
Evelyn COACHING, Neuroscience, Relationships, WELLNESS

Self-Development -In the Pursuit of Happiness

Self-Development – In the Pursuit of Happiness

We all want to be happy in life, to have that perfect career, perfect relationship and a life that is productive and richly rewarding but many of us find that it’s not so easy to live the dream. Sometimes we may feel as if we are in the wrong role completely, as if an actor who has been miscast and no matter how hard you try to assume the role, to become it, the end result always falls a little short of your own expectations.

There are many choices that need to be made in life but the pursuit of happiness is important. More so than working long hours in a career that doesn’t quite give you the satisfaction that you seek, or, working to smooth the flaws in a relationship that just doesn’t quite work in the way you imagined. You have to take responsibility for your own life, if you are not happy, not fully complete, then it’s up to you to discover why. There are plenty of self-development resources available, it’s just a case of finding one that suits you.

Consider what you want to do in life. By this I mean, what do you really want to do, what is that innermost you saying right now? It’s not about the job opportunities that are open to you in the present time; it’s about the career that would really make you get up in the morning without the alarm even going off. It’s the relationship that makes you feel good and where you can be completely yourself, honest, relaxed and supported. If your relationship is less than satisfactory, consider whether you really want to continue. This isn’t a ‘the grass is greener elsewhere’ type of attitude, it’s because you deserve to be in a truly fulfilling and kind relationship. Friendships are the same, surround yourself with genuine people.

When you ask yourself what would make you happy – do you even have a sound idea of who you really are? This might sound strange but actually, a great many people struggle with their own identities, focussing on weaknesses instead of strengths, or, bowing to the demands of others, never realising that to be happy, truly fulfilled, you have to make your own opportunities in life. Look around you; few people have their glorious lives handed to them on a silver platter. Those who do well often have a clear sense of direction and although they may change their views or their goals, they learn to spot good opportunities in life and to embrace them. Self-development forms an integral part of being happy and can start you on a journey totally unexpected.

If there is something a little lacking in your life and you are not sure what, try out The Enneagram – a self-improvement resource that is effective and surprisingly revealing. Why not rediscover the innermost you, strip back the layers and find out who you really are and discover your true potential? It can open up a whole wealth of new possibilities, not least to enable you to feel confident in your true identity. If you are in the pursuit of happiness, remember that it starts from within. If you like yourself, care about your present and your future, then it pays to nurture that inner you so that you can embrace happiness and feel true contentment.  

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat and explore you.

13 Dec
Evelyn COACHING, Neuroscience, Relationships, WELLNESS

Neuro Linguistic Programming – The Gift of Communication

Neuro Linguistic Communication – The Gift of Communication

Neuro Linguistic Programming provides the resources necessary for excelling in all areas of our life, from self-motivation through to increasing our ability to motivate others. It enables us to sell with confidence or to be able to communicate effectively; in fact, NLP can be used in any situation with great success. Whether you are new to the benefits of Neuro Linguistic Programming or, simply wish to carve out a new career using tried and tested tools, taking this first professional step will open up many new areas of potential for you.

NLP has its own communications model. It enables you to utilise the information from the world around you and to ascertain how this affects you and others in terms of thoughts, behaviours and feelings. NLP makes use of the way that we assimilate information through our senses, while much of this is done on a subconscious level; it becomes filtered depending on those limited perceptions including memories, experiences, language and even beliefs. When you learn the relevant Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques and incorporate them within your own life, it enables you to extend and to reach out to others, communicating effectively in a number of ways.

Many people are expected to be able to communicate effectively and yet, this skill that would seem to be natural and instinctive often lets people down. Within the work-place, this can be the difference between gaining that all-important promotion, winning a key sales account or, handling a highly pressured business meeting. But communication extends far beyond the workplace, at home or in social groups, good communication is vital. The ability to pitch your desire at the right time and in the right way will determine the outcome of any situation resulting in success or failure, this is why developing and understanding the NLP communications model is highly beneficial.

Quite simply, NLP enables you to develop that vital edge and provides you with the skill set required for unlocking your own potential and extending this to others as a practitioner in your own right. If you think about the lessons and skills we gain throughout our lives, Neuro Linguistic Programming simply provides us with the powerful tools that ensure we can gain mastery over any situation. If you have lost out in the past within the business place or even in a personal relationship, you will know that every experience can make you become self-limiting and if this happens to you, it happens to others as well. To be successful, you must know the outcome and then develop a flexibility as regards the behaviour and to extend or to develop sensory sharpness.

How often do we look back and replay a scenario over and over, sometimes mentally frustrated that we managed to make a mess of an important situation? With NLP, it’s possible to replay it but instead of feeling frustrated, instead, change it so that it becomes a positive experience. Visualise yourself in a winning scenario; look at how easily you were able to talk or communicate with others, communication becomes a fluid dance that enables you to interact in and out of conversations in a multitude of ways while increasing your confidence and your desired outcome.

When you learn Neuro Linguistic Programming at a professional level, it enables you to harness the power of your own mind, to become the performance coach that you desire and to ultimately, touch the lives of others in a positive and far reaching manner.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat and explore you.

01 Dec
Evelyn COACHING, Neuroscience, Relationships, WELLNESS

What’s your final destination?

What’s your final destination?

Have you ever wondered what you could achieve if you really put your heart and soul into it? Do you think you may be operating on only half of your true potential at the moment? Many people are and the problem is that their intention is less than focussed. Quite simply, most people don’t know what they want to achieve, they don’t know where they are at now, the starting point, let alone the final destination.

Are you caught in the quagmire of indecisiveness? Is your lack of direction a cause of frustration or are you simply stagnating waiting for a gift-wrapped opportunity? You may have an intense knowledge of what you don’t want, rather than what you do. You may feel frustrated in your career or are settling for a stalemate relationship and from time to time you may even wonder what else there is out there for you.

Does this sound familiar?

Never waste your true potential. We all have the talent and ability for success; we simply need to match enthusiasm and desire to the right goals. By setting objectives, it makes it much easier to achieve. They don’t have to be grand or costly, it’s more a case of listening to that inner you. The answer is there, tucked away inside, sometimes, it takes very little to bring those true desires to the fore. Ultimately, you have to be the one to pluck out your true calling and determine the right path to success. There’s no need to fall into a predefined path, unless that’s what you want. It’s possible these days to reinvent your life over and over if you choose to do so, there are so many opportunities, so many training resources, it’s possible to learn an abundance of new skills and try them all until you find the right fit.

So where’s your starting point? Perhaps you need to know yourself truly before you can move on with the rest of your life. If you doubt your skills or your self-esteem is low, then this could be holding you back. The solution is simple – if you want to reach your final destination you need to carve out a new solid starting point. Identify your needs, build your confidence, re-evaluate and test your way forward. Learn more about the real you. Strengthen your foundation for success and feel confident in the person you are. You can do this with the help of The Enneagram. This forms more than a starting point; it’s the key to discovering the real you.

Whatever your future plans, it’s important to not rest too long; don’t let life pass you by. If the opportunities don’t come, then create them otherwise you’ll never reach that final destination.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat and explore you.

01 Nov
Evelyn COACHING, Neuroscience, Relationships, WELLNESS

Is it Time to Be Mindful?

Is it Time to Be Mindful?

How mindful are you? Are you the type to plan out your day and week in advance or, does life seem frantic and you go from one task to the next in an unorganised manner? In this day and age, it’s easy to get caught up in the flow of productivity and to be swept along by the daily demands of life but do you end up working harder and for longer as a result? There’s something to be said for approaching tasks with care and attention but there has to be some flexibility if and when things go wrong.

It’s important to consider your priorities and this includes both your personal and professional life. Striking a balance between the two is paramount to health and well-being but there’s always the temptation to work harder and to extend your working hours just to keep up with the flow of work. This can impact the time spent with family and friends causing resentment and fatigue. Sometimes, we take on too much and if this sounds familiar, perhaps it’s time to ask yourself why.

Mindfulness may be the solution; it can change how you approach life in general, enabling you to be more focussed and to pay greater attention to detail. You will manage and complete tasks more efficiently and increase productivity. Importantly, it also helps you to streamline those thought processes which can serve to hamper your progress in life, a muddled mind after all will not aid any attempts to be more efficient. Think about why you are doing something and whether it is important and if it could wait. To be in control of your life, you need to be connected with your inner self; to consider your expectations and goals and to be mindful in your approach will pay dividends. .

In the first instance, it’s a good idea to consider your strengths and weaknesses and to identify areas of development. What areas cause you the most problems and what can you do to change this? Are you working productively or do you feel frustrated by your workload? Mindfulness enables you to work in a way that is true to yourself, to have greater clarity and intent and this can make a big difference to your productivity and to how you feel throughout the day. Many people find they are unable to reach their true potential because they don’t understand who they are or their true strengths. They struggle to be mindful, they struggle to achieve and they feel lost. Life dictates instead of life being enjoyable.

If life is stressful, you may feel overwhelmed, indecisive and uncertain how to make important changes. Sometimes it is as simple as managing your time in an effective manner or planning your day but being smart with the planning process, this can increase feelings of control. At other times, feelings of confusion can muddle the way forward and you may need a little help to smooth out the pathway before you. If so, consider the services of a business or life coach who can help you make sense of it all and make life less overwhelming. When you make the decision to be mindful and to take control of your life, you can stride forward with optimism, focus and intent.

Create more self awareness at our upcoming Wellness Retreat. Contact us for more info

18 Oct
Evelyn COACHING, Neuroscience, Relationships, WELLNESS

The Power of Words

The Power of Words

We talk all the time but how effectively do we communicate? There may be many ways of communicating but nothing can dispute the power of words. If you find it difficult to present your findings or negotiate in business meetings or in sales discussions, then learning how to power up your words will be an instrument of worth and really could change your life.

Think about a professional speaker that you admire. What is it about their speech and delivery that you admire the most? Is it the vocabulary that they use? Is it the tone and pitch of their voice that is effective? Do they seem comfortable in front of an audience? You can learn a lot about effective communication simply through watching others and then considering those areas of communication that impressed you the most. Style of delivery is a very personal thing. If you have a presentation to prepare for, it’s important that you practice many times so that you can ascertain timings and also how you will present. You can guarantee a professional does not leave it to chance, they are word perfect when the presentation starts.

Some people have a natural ability to hold the audience’s attention. They might start with some humour or perhaps a shock statistic, but they will all slow down their voices to a commanding level and make eye contact. When presenting, there will be visual and auditory clues at least, so anyone listening will be engaged on several levels. The pace of the presentation will increase and decrease throughout, slides will be compelling but the presenter will not read from the slides. They are prompts only.

In a meeting or sales environment, responses have to be glib. The answers to questions need to be an instinctive response, after all, how much credence would you give to someone who had to think for several minutes before responding. The more you can study a professional speaker, the more you will understand the key components that make for powerful delivery. You can use the same skills to a certain degree in any arena where you need to talk from a position of authority. Evelyn Olivares, professional career coach states that ‘today’s business world runs on information and effective communication, it’s an essential component for success.’ Having trained hundreds of people in her coaching workshops, she knows the relevance of communication and how to guide attendees through all the techniques that can help them communicate freely and successfully.

Think about those who are in your company leadership team and see if there is anyone employed who you feel struggles to command attention through the power of their words. The chances are there is not. They will use words in a skillful way and they target the words that will mean the most to you – the listener. They may not be trying to sell you something, but they want to impress their beliefs onto you and if they are exceptionally good with words, you may feel the urge to do so, even if your intrinsic belief is that they are wrong. The power of words are extraordinary when delivered with confidence and charisma. Change your thinking and change your life, just by becoming an effective communicator and believing.

Join us at the upcoming Wellness Retreat and explore you.

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